


Throwing Hands

by Meztli



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Good and Bad Launch, Humor, Resolved Sexual Tension, Smut, a pinch of fluff, fighting to fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23552206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meztli/pseuds/Meztli
Summary: The sexual tension between the resident bombshell and newest freeloader of the Kame House is getting to be too much for their housemates to bear, so they hastily devise a poorly thought-out but effective plan to get them to finally hookup.
Relationships: Launch/Raditz (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Throwing Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thebestkungfu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebestkungfu/gifts).



> Requested by @thebestkungfu on Twitter, who by the way, is a super talented artist and the sweetest human being ever. 
> 
> You can find me there under the URL @gokus_chichis, so give me a follow if ya want! It's my space to scream about my favorite ships and retweet beautiful DB artwork. I take fic requests that interest me as well.

"Alright boys, read 'em and weep."

Once the winning hand is thrown, a fist pounds the table in outrage, knocking down and scattering many of the poker chips and cards from their piles. 

"No way. How's that even possible? You must've cheated."

Another fist comes down on the table as well, further scrambling the pieces. 

"Ain't no cheater! You're just being a sore loser. Now pay up, Radish-boy. All of you."

Raditz slams his hands down on the poker chips at the center of the table before Launch gets to them, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the blonde, which she meets with an equally withering glare. 

"Whaddya think you're doing? That's mine." 

He doesn't relent, scooting the chips closer to his end of the round table. "Something just doesn't add up. There's no way you could be winning this much and this early on in the game. Nobody has that much luck, and you definitely aren’t that good at poker.” 

He’s played a few rounds against her and the Kame residents before, and not one of them is as good at poker as they think they are. He’s the worst out of all of them, but that’s only because he’s still fairly new to the game. Nothing to do with his intellectual capacity, of course. 

Launch places an arm akimbo, brushing off his accusation with a curt shrug of her shoulders. "Then I guess it’s just the will of Kami today. The chips, hand them over before I finish the job Piccolo couldn't do." 

He kicks the chair from under him, ignoring her outstretched hand as he pockets the chips inside the orange pants of the Kame uniform. 

"Oh I'd love to see you try, washed-up Jane Fonda."

Roshi popped in one of his workout videos the other day to disgustingly salivate over, and Raditz couldn’t help but notice a few physical similarities between the aerobics instructor and the crazy broad currently fuming at him, especially because of their hair. 

Launch is more attractive, though. Much more. But she doesn't need to know that.

His quip has the desired effect as Launch, too, heatedly rises up from her seat and balls a hand into a fist. 

"What did you just say, monkey man?" 

Oh, he hates it when she calls him that.

"You heard me clear, off-brand trash Barbie.”

In addition to bright spandex and aerobics, living on this planet these past several months has also exposed him to a number of other odd and trivial things, such as toys made to look like idealized, anatomically incorrect women. 

Launch does not appreciate the comparison. Good. 

"Rooster-haired genocidal maniac," she fires back. 

"Psychotic bimbo with no brains." 

Ever since the squabble commenced, the rest of the gang have already been discreetly sneaking their way out of their seats, one by one, and heading towards the door. 

Once Launch pulls out her gun and aims it at the tall Saiyan, the last of them dash in a flurry of limbs out the nearest exit, sparing themselves from the amazonian woman’s wrath. 

Raditz grins at Launch from the end of the barrel, tail twisting in amusement. "Your pathetic little weapon can't hurt me."

She fires. The bullets feel like pebbles hitting his skin. Painless, but annoying, and the sound of a gun being discharged is too loud for his sensitive ears. 

"Hey! Cut that out! Stop!" 

Once she's finished unloading all of the bullets onto him, she lurches forwards and swings the barrel of the gun at his head. He dodges it swiftly, moving his head to the side. 

Launch tries taking another hit at him, and fails once again. "Give me the damn chips!" 

"Try and take them from me." 

In frustration, Launch discards the gun and comes at him with fists instead.

"Low-rate intergalactic space pirate," she resumes the name-calling, throwing ineffective punches at him from left and right. 

"Hussy." He's running out of clever insults. 

“Poo-flinger.” So has she. 

“Big-boobed bitch.”

He dodges a roundhouse kick, then catches her fist when she makes another feeble attempt at landing a blow on him. 

Launch's eyes widen, then narrow back into a scowl as he lets go of her hand. 

She steps back, flexes her fingers. 

Despite her inferior combat skills and strength, he's gotta admit he's having a bit of fun with this. She may not be a Saiyan, but she’s almost as vicious and ruthless as one. For a human woman, she is also kind of strong. And hot. Smokin’ hot. 

Launch smirks at him as if reading his thoughts, signaling to her chest with her green eyes. 

"So you've been checking out my 'big boobs', huh? Like what you see? Too bad you can't have any of it!" 

"Like I wanna mate with a subpar species. I'm not Kakatot."

Her smirk grows even wider, dialing up the impishness. 

"Speaking of Goku, he's a way better fighter than you. Also better looking. Like, by a long-shot." 

Her words are confounding and infuriating enough to distract him for half a second, and in that tiny fraction of a delay on his part, she manages to throw a hook forward and graze his cheek ever so slightly. 

As she turns back to swing another one at him, his tail catches her by the wrist, then flicks it away as they stare each other down.

She huffs, a resigned, angry look molding her features. 

"Ah, who am I kidding! I can't win against you. At least I got one in."

"Not bad for a subpar species. Still, you'd never be able to handle a Saiyan. In a fight or...otherwise."

"What's that supposed to mean? Oh. I get it. First you mention my boobs and now you have sex in your mind. Forget it. In fact, I doubt you'd be able to handle me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"It- it's a fact." 

For the first time today, possibly ever, he senses a nervousness in her voice as he openly leers at her. 

They're only two steps apart now, with Raditz towering over her as he continues to stare at her bratty little face. 

Seven hells she's attractive. More than attractive. She… she smells delicious, like a meal after a good fight. 

He takes her by the waist, pulling her to him. 

She gasps in surprise but doesn't fight it, staring up at him with bright, longing eyes. 

"I'd like to see you prove it," he says, causing a tremor to run down her body that he can sense through where their skin touches. 

Then, unexpectedly, she smiles, and it's a slow and seductive twist of lips that sends a jolt right up his inner thighs. 

He groans out when she suddenly grabs at his junk, holding it as if she may crush it, which makes him even more excited. 

"I know you would. You stare at me enough. Ah!"

She yells and leans further into him as his tail swipes her crotch from between her thighs, having snuck itself from behind her.

He grins triumphantly at the way she quivers under his touch, feeling his own desire swell even further. 

"I can smell you, you know. You want it just as bad as I do."

Launch looks up at him with a lustful gaze. She flicks her tongue out from between her lips, the only signal she gives him before she leaps up and wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

Immediately, his hands are there to assist in holding her up, walking them over to the table cluttered with cards and chips, which he knocks off the table so he can make room to set- practically toss- down Launch on. 

As soon as he sets her onto the surface of the table, he starts unlatching the belt around her waist, followed by unfastening her shorts so he can remove them off her. 

"Hold on. The windows," she says, reminding him that all of them are open for any of the resident perverts to spy through.

With a frustrated groan, Raditz goes around and slams all of the shutters closed, telling the peeping Toms to fuck off when he catches a few of them peeking through a window.

While he isn't as scandalized at the idea of being spied on while having sex, he isn't keen on being watched by those perverts, either, and he really doesn't want any interruptions. 

When he returns, he finds her in only a bra and matching panties, both lacy and black, waiting for him on the table in an extremely seductive pose. 

He grins, stroking his bulge in anticipation. 

"Where were we," he says, sliding Launch to the edge of the table so he can have better access to her entrance. He inhales her heady scent, amused by the little squeak Launch makes by his action. 

"You really are a primate."

"Shut it," he replies, shoving the tip of his tail into her mouth.

Launch muffles angrily into the tail, caught completely by surprise. Raditz is afraid she's gonna bite it so he takes his tail out as soon as his mouth clamps over the mound rising from under the panties, cutting off her protests and replacing them with moans. 

She is scrumptious, but the fabric is preventing him from tasting her entirely, so he rips it off, diving back in as soon as the panties are gone.

Oh yes, much better, he can feel her twitch into his tongue and get even wetter the more he laps her up. 

He's thoroughly enjoying his meal when out of nowhere, her thighs clamp down on his head, retaining him there to the point he can hardly breathe. 

"That's right. Eat my pussy, you sexy space slut."

Fuck, this woman is vulgar. He kind of loves it. 

His erection seems to particularly agree, begging him to be unburdened and eased by her sex. So he pries her thighs open and frees his head from between them, arms moving to remove his armor. 

All that he now wears are the elastic bands around his arm and thigh, as well as bottoms that stretch and accentuate the outline of his balls and stiff penis, and he can tell by the look Launch fixes him that the sight of him like this is tantalizing to her.

Her lustful gaze becomes one that is pleasantly shocked once he removes the bottoms, unveiling himself to her completely.

She bites her bottom lip, spreading her outer folds open with he fingers as an invitation. 

Pulsing with near-crazed desire, he nudges the tip against her pink opening, readying to penetrate her as it tastes her juices for the first time. 

She's already so sopping wet that when he inches forward, his shaft glides smoothly and close to the brim, stretching her walls to fit his impressive girth. 

He expels a shallow breath of air from his mouth as he enters her, while Launch does a little gasp of her own as she takes him in. 

As much as he'd like to be rough with her, he knows that if he doesn't hold back some of his fervor he might end up severely hurting her, so he tests out the waters using slow, deliberate motions. 

And Kami, does she feel great. Hot and tight and dripping. Why the hell had they been putting this off for so long? They both have wanted this for a while, he just knows it, but neither one of them were willing to make the move. Too stubborn. Too proud. Maybe a little idiotic. 

Raditz lowers his face to the crook of her neck, nipping at it with his teeth. A hand slides under the cup of her bra to gather a fleshy tit into his grasp, noting how erect the nipple is. 

The little gasps she’s making as he drives into her are a treat that validate how good he’s making her feel, but he wants to make her feel even better.

“How’s my monkey dick?” He asks her with a hint of sarcasm. His tail is twirling with contentment behind him, lowering down to brush the side of her thigh and trail up under her bra to tease the other nipple. 

“Good, it's good. It's so good!”

"Just good?"

"Fuck me harder and I'll tell you." 

Much obliged. 

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he lifts her from the table, still connected at their groins as he stands and balances her against him. 

She secures her legs around his hips while he cups her supple bottom, bouncing her up and down on his cock as it also jabs at her in upwards motions. 

Launch moans into his neck, bites it, then tilts her head back to look him in the eyes as he fucks her. There’s something so absolutely sexy about how her green eyes shine with lust and passion, and he has to look away or else he’s going to spend himself inside her already. 

He takes her to the couch, eager to learn just how well she can ride, and once she gets going he is not disappointed. 

She’s straddling his hips and jumping on his penis like she wants to milk him dry, and he’s pretty sure that’s her goal as he feels the pressure inside his veins buildup.

“Ah Raditz. I think I'm gonna, I’m gonna

.. Aaah.. ACHOO.”

And just like that, her hair is blue and his arousal is left in suspension. 

They look at each other with wide, confused eyes for a few seconds, crotches still joined. 

Then she screams. She screams and then leaps off his lap and nearly trips as she scurries to the other end of the living room, hiding her crotch behind her gloved hands. 

Well, shit. 

Raditz may have been an intergalactic killing machine but he’s never been a rapist, so he hides his junk behind one of Roshi’s dirty magazines that he swipes from the coffee table. 

“I know this looks bad, but trust me when I say we were having a good time up until you sneezed.”

His words do little to calm Launch down. 

“We were doing it. We were actually doing it!”

Her personality switches never cease to amaze him. Not too long ago she was practically suffocating him between her legs and now she can’t even bring herself to say a word as basic as 'sex.'

“Yeah… You remember?”

“Of course I remember. We were fighting and then we… We... Oh my goodness. How embarrassing.”

She’s blushing profusely, looking like a virgin who'd just been ravished by a monster. 

The frustrating thing about this is that he was moments, maybe even seconds, away from cumming up until she nearly stopped his heart when she sneezed. The fucked up thing is that he’s still semi-hard, somewhat turned on by her flustered state and innocent face, but also disappointed that they can’t continue their session. 

He starts to slowly move his way out of the living room area, keeping his eyes on her as he retreats.

“Wait. Don’t… Don’t go.”

He pauses, still covering his junk as he curiously raises his eyebrows at her behest. 

Her blush deepens to an even redder hue, covering her face while re-exposing her crotch as she attempts to hide her nervousness behind her hands. 

“C-can we continue? I was enjoying it and.... And I really like you. You’re handsome and brave and can be sweet sometimes.”

Now it’s his turn to blush. How is that out of all the naughty things they were doing, this is the thing that has his heart pounding fastest and his cheeks glowing red?

He is thrilled to hear that she wants to continue, especially because he never thought this side of her would be interested in having a savage like him. She never really showed any indication, shying away from him any time he's been near. But earthling women are strange like that. Giving mixed signals and rarely ever being straight to the point.

He supposes he hasn't really been straight to the point, either. Which is unlike him when it comes to mating. There's something about Launch that has him behaving funny and he doesn't understand why. 

From his interactions with both sides of her, Raditz knows that he can’t approach this version of Launch the same as her blonde counterpart, so he resumes his place on the couch and signals her over with the least threatening smile he can give her.

He pats one of his thighs in invitation for her to sit on, to which Launch giggles, still blushing, and skips over to him, setting herself down on his lap.

Her moist folds sit right above his length, not yet willing to take him in. 

Fine. He'll wait until she's ready. 

She looks at him with a shy smile, so pretty it hits him on a rib just below his heart. 

“Hey Raditz?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we kiss?”

Raditz blinks. He’s never kissed anyone on the lips before. It’s sentimental nonsense and he has no need for it. But seeing how she beseechingly looks at him with those big-doe eyes of hers has him reavulating his entire approach.

He supposes he can try another new thing. Besides, her lips do look pink and juicy. 

Okay. He breathes deeply and places his hands on either side of her face, perhaps too aggressively because she’s blinking rapidly and looks alarmed as he nears his face towards her, puckering his lips the way he imagines one must do.

Before his lips touch hers, however, she pulls back and grabs his wrists. 

“Wait. Have you never kissed anyone before?”

Raditz feels warm to the ears. “There hasn’t been a need to.”

Launch gasps. “But it’s the most romantic thing one can ever do!”

“I’m not trying to be romantic.”

Launch frowns. 

“I suppose not, but… Well, how about I show you? Do as I say. Close your eyes. Good, like that. Now just let my lips guide you, okay? And go along with it. Follow my lead.”

He feels her lips brush against his, soft and tender. He tries to mimic those same motions as his eyes remain close, finding that he does like the sensation the more their lips get used to each other. 

A few seconds in, he feels her tongue poke through his lips and part them, and Raditz does the same with his own tongue to meet hers. 

Soon their tongues and lips are in sync as they massage the other in a slow, sweet rhythm not unlike the waves of an ocean.

The act is making him get stiffer somehow, adding another element of stimulus he didn’t think would feel this good. 

Launch breaks their kiss so she can regard him with a cute and fulfilled smile on her face, bursting out again in a giggle. 

He used to find her constant giggling and positive demeanor irritating as hell. Now he doesn’t mind it. Her wild side, too. They each have something different to offer, and he thinks he may like both. 

His mind is redirected as Launch takes his girth into her hand and guides it inside her, making a happy, satisfied face as she consumes him.

They build up to the climax they were going for before she sneezed, starting out slowly before speeding away on his lap like her other self was previously doing. 

Right before he unloads, he pulls out and shoots his seed on to her chest and torso, some of it landing on her chin. 

Launch laughs and wipes it off her chin, pecking him on the lips right afterwards. She leans into him and hugs him, not caring that she's smearing his own jizz all over his abdomen. 

"Finally," she says in a blissful tone.

He doesn't say it, but he agrees wholeheartedly.

It's only a few moments later when they remember about what instigated the fight in the first place.

"I promise, I didn't cheat. So you still owe me, by the way."

"Yeah, yeah."

He doesn't even care about the loss anymore. In the end, he gained something way better . 

It's then they're also reminded about the other residents of the Kame House. 

He may not be able to read power levels as accurately without the scouter yet, but he can sense them through other ways, and he picks up on their erratic heart rates from just the other side of the window. 

Maybe they didn't see anything, but they must have heard a good chunk of their sexual tousle, especially for the portion he was with blonde Launch. 

Eventually, they come to find out that it was them who collectively rigged the game in Launch's favor so that it would appear as if she were cheating even though she wasn't aware of the scheme.

"Why hell would you do that? Did you want us to kill each other?"

Oolong shakes his head "No! Quite the opposite. We wanted you to screw already so we didn't have to continue being caught in the thicket of your sexual tension."

"We figured at least one of us guys should be getting laid," chimes in Yamcha. 

Roshi grins lecherously. "I read in a magazine column that anger can bring out the sexual energy in two repressed individuals who are clearly attracted to each other but are too stubborn to admit it. Angry sex, they call it."

Oolong nods his head. "So we devised a plan to get you two mad enough with each other where you'd end up venting all of your frustrations through violence and eventually, sex."

"And it worked!" Puar declares excitedly. 

"Hurray!" Turtle is also pleased with the results. 

Both Raditz and Launch stare at all of them with their mouths hung open, in complete disbelief and astonishment.

This. Has got to be the most idiotic plan that Raditz has ever heard of, even making those of the Ginyu force seem reasonable. 

But they're right, it worked. Amazingly so.

Still, to meddle with his sex life like that... 

And what if it had backfired? 

"Hey Launch?"

"Yes, honey poo?" 

Honey poo? He files that away for him to dwell on later. 

"Mind if I throw some paprika at your nose so you can change and help me kill half of these morons while I kill the other half?"

"Certainly."

He can see Roshi's eyes bulge from behind his sunglasses. "Now wait a minute, guys! You should be thanking us. We did you a favor!" 

Raditz cracks his knuckles, chuckling. 

"Whaddya think, Blue, should we give them a pass? 

Launch, still in her sweet form, mock-contemplates with a finger on her chin. 

"Hm well I can think of something better to do than that."

She leans into his ear and whispers, in graphic detail, the things she'd like to do instead. So there is a bit of wild in her innocent form, too.

Raditz scoops her up, securing her in his arms as he announces to their housemates that they're off to find somewhere private to be in, and that they'll deal with them later when they return. 

"For now, thanks, I guess."

They find an abandoned cottage not too far from the island, doing more of that kissing thing and discovering more reasons as to why he likes both of her versions. 


End file.
